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Deep down I knew he already liked me when I made my move.We were sitting on the bed in his parents' spare room when he kissed me for the first time.The reality is that when friends become lovers the shift in their emotions is usually gradual.In fact, it's so subtle they don't even notice it's happening until the moment a kindly hug becomes loaded with intention.He'd even sit with her in the pub and have a couple of warm-up drinks while she waited for a new date to arrive. 'On that day of the wedding, when everyone around me was saying how lovely he was, I suddenly thought they were right.She described him to other friends as 'not very exciting'. It was like an epiphany.' Most psychologists would say that was unusual.'And there are certain people, friends or otherwise, who you could never imagine as a sexual partner. We unconsciously sum up this blueprint in another person, and if there is a "fit" we make an emotional connection.Because long-standing friends have had plenty of time to develop this bond, they already know they have plenty in common.
If they feel they are in it together and can trust each other to be supportive, that is extremely appealing.Yet not every close friendship will develop into the kind of romance that would give Danielle Steele a run for her money.'It's the sexual chemistry that ultimately sends you over the edge,' states Christine Northam, a counsellor working for Relate. Each of us has a psychological make-up that has been moulded by life's influences and experiences, and most of the time we're not even aware of it.The happiness in one country compared with another can be largely explained by six key factors…[the first]: the proportion of people who say that other people can be trusted…' Ray Pahl, a professor at the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Essex, agrees about the primary importance of trust.